Trilogy Guided Imagery For Healing, Inc.

SAFETY PLANNING FOR BATTERED WOMEN

Identification:

___ Birth certificate(s)
___ Driver's License/ Military ID
___ Social Security Card(s)
___ Passport(s)/green cards/work permits
___ welfare identification
___ Insurance documents

Financial:

___ Money/credit cards
___ Checkbooks, bankbooks
___ Savings bonds
___ Food stamps

Legal Papers:

___ Copy of your Order of Protection (PPO)/divorce papers/custody orders
___ Car registration/ insurance papers
___ Copy of lease/ rental agreement/deed to home
___ Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills
___ Medical and school records
___ Separation/ custody papers
___ Power of attorney/will

Other:

___ Children if safe to do so
___ Items for children (toys, blankets, diapers)
___ Medications, prescriptions
___ Keys to home and vehicles
___ Address book/ telephone cards
___ Pictures, jewelry, things that mean a lot to you
___ Clothes

• During an argument, or if you feel tension building, avoid areas in your home where weapons might be available – the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom or workshops.
• If there are weapons in your household such as firearms – lock them up!
• Know where there is a safe exit from your home – a window, elevator or stairwell.
• Discuss the situation with a trusted neighbor if you can. Ask them to call 911 if they hear a disturbance. Find a code word to use with them if you need the police.
• Always keep a packed bag ready.
• Know where you would go to be safe if you have to leave, even if you don't really think you need to.

Remember that no one ever deserves to be abused. It is not your fault!

• Open a bank account in your own name.
• Give an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, extra clothes and some money with a trusted friend or neighbor in case you have to leave quickly.
• Think about who your best resources are if you need to find shelter or money.
• Have change on hand to make emergency calls.

Remember that your safety and that of your children should always come first!

• Keep your Order of Protection with you at all times.
• Give photocopies of your Order of Protection to your children's school, your employer, your neighbors, as well as your local police department.
• Change the locks on your doors.
• Discuss safety plans with your children.
• Inform children's school about who has permission to pick up your children.
• Ask neighbors to call the police if they see your abuser nearby. Show your neighbors a photo of the abuser and tell them about your Order of Protection.
• Ask someone to screen your telephone calls at home and at work.
• Have someone escort you to your car or walk with other people if possible.
• If communication is necessary between you and your partner, meet in public places or have a third party make contact and relay messages.
• Talk with people who can provide you with support on domestic violence issues.

ALWAYS CALL THE POLICE IF YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR YOUR SAFETY!

Your safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe. These resources can help you to make a safety plan that works best for you. It is important to get help with your safety plan.


If you are in an abusive relationship, think about...

1. Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.
2. Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
3. How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
4. Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.
5. Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.
6. Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
7. Going over your safety plan often.

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...

1. Four places you could go if you leave your home.
2. People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
3. Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
4. Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
5. How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
6. How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
7. Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

If you have left your abuser, think about...

1. Your safety - you still need to.
2. Getting a cell phone.
3. Getting a PPO from the court. Keep a copy with you all the time. Give a copy to the police, people who take care of your children, their schools and your boss.
4. Changing the locks. Consider putting in stronger doors, smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.
5. Telling friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.
6. Telling people who take care of your children the names of people who are allowed to pick them up. If you have a PPO protecting your children, give their teachers and babysitters a copy of it.
7. Telling someone at work about what has happened. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a PPO that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of it and a picture of the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.
8. Not using the same stores or businesses that you did when you were with your abuser.
9. Someone that you can call if you feel down. Call that person if you are thinking about going to a support group or workshop.
10. Safe way to speak with your abuser if you must.
11. Going over your safety plan often.

WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim's lives. When abusers feel a loss of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.

Go to an area that has an exit.
Not a bathroom (near hard surfaces), kitchen (knives), or near weapons.

Stay in a room with a phone.
Call 911, a friend or a neighbor, if possible. Inform them if there are weapons in the home.

Know your escape route.
Practice how to get out of your home safely. Visualize your escape route.

Have a packed bag ready.
Keep it hidden in a handy place in order to leave quickly, or leave the bag elsewhere if the abuser searches your home.

Devise a code word or signal.
Tell your children, grandchildren or neighbors so you can communicate to them that you need the police.

Know where you're going.
Plan where you will go if you have to leave home, even if you don't think you'll need to.

Trust your judgment.
Consider anything that you feel will keep you safe and give you time to figure out what to do next. Sometimes it is best to flee, sometimes to placate the abuser - anything that works to protect yourself and the children.

SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE

LEAVING CAN BE THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME!

Have a safe place to stay.
Make sure it is a place that can protect you and your children or grandchildren.

Call a domestic violence victim service program.
Find out which services and shelters are available as options if you need them. Call the National Domestic violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-700-SAFE).

Find someone you trust.
Leave money, extra keys, copies of important documents and clothing with them in advance, so you can leave quickly, if necessary.

Open a savings account.
Put it in your name only, to increase your independence. Consider direct deposit from your paycheck or benefit check.

Review your safety plan.
Study and check your plans as often as possible in order to know the safest way to leave the abuser.

Concerns about immigration status.
You may qualify under a law called the Violence Against Women Act. Talk to an immigration expert (not Immigration and Customs Enforcement) or your local domestic violence victim services program for more information.

SAFETY IN YOUR OWN HOME

(If the abuser does not live with you)

Upgrade your security system.
Change the locks on doors and windows as soon as possible. Consider a security service, window bars, better lighting, smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.

Have a safety plan.
Teach your children or grandchildren how to call the police or someone they can trust. Have a secret code word that you and your children agree on - to communicate trouble and for the people who are allowed to pick the children up.

Change your phone number.
Screen your calls if you have an answering machine or caller ID. Save all messages with threats or that violate any orders. Contact your local phone company about getting an unpublished number.

Talk to neighbors and landlord.
Inform them that the abuser no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see the abuser near your home.

Get legal advice.
Find a lawyer knowledgeable about domestic violence to explore custody, visitation and divorce provisions that protect you and the children. Discuss getting a restraining order as an option. The abuser may be mandated to a batterers' intervention program. Talk with the program to find out more about potential risks to you while your abuser participates. Additionally, contact your local domestic violence victim services program. [or the National Domestic violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-700-SAFE].

SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Get support. Call a domestic violence crisis help-line [the National Domestic violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-700-SAFE] and/or attend a women’s or victims support group for at least two weeks to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship with the abuser.

Do what is safe for you. If you have to communicate with the abuser, arrange to do so in the way that makes you feel safe whether by phone, mail or in the company of another person.

SAFETY AND YOUR CHILDREN

Tell schools and childcare. Let them know who has permission to pick up the child/ren and give them your code word. Discuss with them other special provisions to protect you and your child/ren. Provide a picture of the abuser if possible.

Exchange child/ren in a safe place. Find a safe place to exchange the child/ren for visitation. Some communities have specific locations just for this purpose. Contact your local domestic violence victim services program for more information.

YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN DESERVE TO BE SAFE!

SAFETY ON THE JOB

Tell somebody. Decide whom at work you will inform of your situation, especially if you have a Protection From Abuse Order (PFA). This may include office security if available. Provide a picture of the abuser if possible. It is your right to request and expect confidentiality from those you disclose to.

Screen your calls. Arrange to have someone screen and log your telephone calls if possible.

Make a safety plan. Create a safety plan for when you enter and leave your work place. Have someone escort you to your vehicle or other transportation.

If you and the abuser work at the same place, discuss with your supervisor your options regarding scheduling, safety precautions, employee/family benefits.

Contact your local domestic violence victim services program to receive additional information about workplace safety.

IN AN EMERGENCY CALL 911.

For support, call the domestic violence program nearest you or

the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 800-799-SAFE (7233).